Losing a loved one is never easy. We all experience and cope with it differently. Some of us might break down in tears, while others might put on a brave front.
And when it’s someone close to us going through this we want nothing more than to help. Even though going through funerals and memorials is a natural part of life that we experience frequently, it is always a challenge to help console the people we love.
There is no right or wrong way to help a person through their grief. And, this is why it gets confusing. Some people will appreciate a gift of memorial keepsakes while others need more emotional support. In this article, we will give you some pointers on how to help your friend through this emotional time.
Starting the conversation
As a friend that has been through a lot of life’s ups and downs together, you are surely looked at as somebody who can be counted upon.
You will be seen as a beacon in the storm when emotions are running high and your friend will want you to be by their side. However, how they need to be consoled is not always obvious.
This means that you have to start asking questions to ascertain the best way to console them. The fear of saying something wrong often holds us back.
But the silence can be even more painful for your friend. It’s okay if you don’t have the perfect words. What matters more is your willingness to be there, showing them they are not alone.
Let them know you’re there for them, but give them the space they need too.
Actively listen
Now that the conversation has started, you will need to be an active listener to be able to be the rock they need you to be.
Active listening means fully focusing on the person who is speaking, showing them you’re genuinely interested and care about what they’re saying.
This means that you also need to give feedback so they understand that you are taking it all in. Make sure to say that you understand and leave it at that.
This is the time to let them do the talking and for you to be a sounding board that absorbs the conversation.
Be patient, but be there
Grief doesn’t end after the funeral. There will be milestones and events that are meaningful to your friend that will be difficult to get through alone.
Things like anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays will be painful periods.
Reach out to your friend during these times, but again, respect their wishes. They might want company, or they might want to spend the day alone.
Your friend might struggle with the idea of moving forward without their loved one, and that’s okay.
Be patient and reassure them that it’s normal to feel this way. Remind them that it’s okay to have bad days and that it doesn’t mean they’re not healing. It’s just part of the process.