How Are You Dealing With Getting Older?

Dealing with getting older – Last week my mum and dad went to stay with my nan for a couple of days, she is quite lucky that my auntie lives opposite and my uncle spends lots of his time living at my nan’s house (and has done since I can remember) so it is very rare that she is on her own.

However my mum just felt that she needs to visit as she is slowly declining, and its getting harder for her to remember simple things.

When my mum used to work in London she lived with my nan during the week, so I know she sometimes misses their evening chats, and its hard to think about what happens when relatives get old.

My grandad passed away when I was pregnant with Xene, and I always think it is such a shame that he never got to meet any of his great grand children, although he did get to meet Asa, so for that I am grateful.

If I am honest I really couldn’t ever imagine my nan ever getting old, she has THE most amazing skin, so many people have asked if my mum, auntie and Nan are sisters (much to the amusement of Nan and the disgust of mum and auntie!) I always said it was the German genes and I hope that I have inherited them!

She is a very proud woman and always takes care of her appearance, she has a hearing aid (which you will NEVER see her wear in public!) she is not very steady on her feet these days, so we have suggested she takes a look at some mobility scooters to find one that she likes.

I used to love sitting when I was smaller listening to her life as a wife and mother living on the army barracks and how she always had the cleanest house and was the envy of the officers wives (I definitely have not inherited that gene!)

When my other Nan (nanny on her own) had her stroke and we had to seriously think about nursing care it was a very difficult decision, as the oldest grandchild I somehow seemed to think that I had a huge responsibility to ensure she was somewhere suitable and I looked around many care homes with my dad and uncle, and we all eventually agreed on the same one.

Asa was exactly the same when it came to choosing somewhere for his nanna too, so I think it must be an oldest grandchild thing!

dealing with getting older

Some of the children still remember Nanna Max and talk about her fondly, it always amazes me how children seem to talk about loved ones who have passed away so easily, I wish we, as adults could do the same, but we always seem to find it harder, and its not something we find easy to discuss.

Both grandmothers needed the 24 hour care, but if I am honest, I really cannot see ‘Big Nanny’ (the children’s name for my Nan) ever needing one, although it will eventually happen i’m sure, I still have memories of my Great Nan coming to live with my Nan and Grandad and her constantly leaving her false teeth on the arm of the chair!

I guess if I cannot see my Nan in a home, that gives me even longer to not have to consider my own parents going down that route, it’s strange that I don’t really see my mum and dad as old, even though most of the people in the street they live can be seen each day folding mobility scooters into their cars ready for a day out.

Maybe i’m just in denial, because if they are old, then I must be getting older too! Although looking at my seven beautiful children, with the fourth one now discussing university choices, I have to admit that we are all getting older…

Leave a comment